Jay's Grammy Preview

So Toph and I are going to do another round of awards show predictions, and this time he's going to abide by my rule and leave out every category that is irrelevant. And there are a lot of them: out of 78 categories, we whittled our competition down to 11. I need some redemption for my miserable showing in Fantasy Pick 'Em on Friday. Here goes:

Record of the Year: Katy Perry - Firework
If you don't love this song, you have no soul. If you don't love Katy Perry, you have no balls. I'd rather listen to this than Adele or Bruno Mars any day of the week. I know that's not what the category is about, but Firework was my favorite record of the year.

Album of the Year: Adele - 21
As much as I hate her sadness, there's no denying that an album with Rolling In The Deep, Someone Like You, and That Other Song That Adele Sings is probably going to win.

Best New Artist: 
This one was tough for me. J. Cole is awesome. Skrillex is awesome. The Band Perry isn't bad. And folks I swear to God that if Nicki Minaj wins in a category she shouldn't even be nominated for (Weezy signed her to Young Money like four years ago) I will drown a cat. This is where I would like to throw in an "Anyone Except Nicki" but I can't so I'm going to go with Skrillex edging J. Cole by a hair. He's created his own style of music and made a creepy/annoying sound more mainstream than anyone thought it could go. And if they don't give it to him because he isn't a traditional musician, then I feel bad that whoever votes for the Grammy winners is stuck in the past with a flip phone and a non-automatic soap dispenser.

Best Dance Recording: Swedish House Mafia - Save The World
Two things. I'd love to see SHM win a Grammy. But REALLY, YOU DIDN'T INCLUDE LEVELS, WE FOUND LOVE, OR GIVE ME EVERYTHING?!??!!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!

Best Rock Song: Mumford & Sons - The Cave
It's a weird song, for sure. But they do their own thing, and none of the nominees really stick out in my mind as frontrunners.

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: Kanye West, Rihanna, Kid Cudi, and Fergie - All of the Lights
This song epitomizes why I love Kanye - he has the ability to tell a story in his raps instead of just bragging about money/cars/clothes/hoes. He expresses his emotions in his music, and I love that about him.

Best Rap Song: Kanye West - All of the Lights
See above. This song is phenomenal.

Best Rap Album: Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
I picked this in the 2011 recap, and I'm picking it again. All of the Lights, Monster, Power, and the coolest/most creative music video I've ever seen to tie it all together. No way this doesn't win.

Best Country Solo Performance: Jason Aldean - Dirt Road Anthem
This song is also known as "the reason I listen to country music." I love it.

Best Score Soundtrack for Visual Media: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
The theme song alone is worthy of the Grammy win. Not to say that the best part of the Harry Potter movies is the music, but it definitely helps set the mood.

Best Remixed Recording: Cinema (Skrillex Remix)
To close it out, I think Skrillex will grab his second (possibly even third) award of the night and mothers, fathers, and grandparents everywhere will say, "Who is that? What's wrong with his hair? Why does his music sound like a firetruck running over a microwave with Siri installed in it?"

Bonus: More Katy Perry